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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30126192">not beyond saving</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/coveredinsun/pseuds/coveredinsun'>coveredinsun</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anarchist Syndicate on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Michael my beloved, Niki | Nihachu-centric, as he should be!!!!, because ummm hell yeah?, im not a fan of c!phil but i DO love me some minecraft lore, immortal phil, ranboo is very protective of his family, she deserves it!!!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:33:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,261</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30126192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/coveredinsun/pseuds/coveredinsun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s better this way, Niki reminds herself. Puffy is many things, and a coward is certainly not one of them– if she wanted to talk, to have anything to do with Niki… she would reach out. But she hasn’t.</p><p>Niki can feel the promise ring under her glove as she curls and uncurls her fingers to keep them from stiffening, but she pretends it isn’t there. </p><p>–</p><p>or, niki takes the first steps towards healing</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cara | CaptainPuffy/Niki | Nihachu, Niki | Nihachu &amp; Ranboo, Niki | Nihachu &amp; Technoblade, Ranboo &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo, just their canon characters!!!!!!!, tagged as platonic because im not shipping them thats weirdchamp</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>112</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>not beyond saving</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>HEY YALLL IM HERE WITH A NIKI CENTRIC FIC AND IM SO EXCITED FOR YALL TO READ IT!!!! I SPEEDRAN THIS BITCH IN JUST OVER A WEEK AND IM SO HYPED!!!</p><p>inspired very loosely by “goodbye my danish sweetheart” by mitski because that is 100% a post-doomsday niki song. argue with the wall</p><p>the puffychu in this is strictly about their CHARACTERS and their relationship IN CANON. dont ship real people you stupid bitches</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The light <em> crunch </em> of the snow does very little to calm Niki’s nerves. </p><p>It does not distract her from the thoughts telling her to <em> turn back, </em> to <em> let it go, </em> to <em> not do this. </em>Those thoughts can be very persuasive, but she cannot afford to let them get the best of her. She direly needs to get back on track, and this is the best way how. (Perhaps the only way.) </p><p>The air bites at her, and the landscape is blinding. It’s a perfect environment to get lost in her own head, but she does all she can to avoid that. Niki is not in the mood for some introspection– she’s done plenty of that lately, ever since her main ally fucked off to manage a <em> hotel. </em></p><p>There’s a hole in her chest where something should be. Lately it has been bitterness, <em> anger, </em> but that spark has fizzled out and died. Such volatile emotions should never be one’s drive, and she knows that, but it certainly isn’t pleasing to be left floating aimlessly. </p><p>Niki looks up at the brilliant blue of the sky and treks through the snow, the <em> crunch crunch crunch </em>only serving as a reminder that she is alone once more– hopefully not for long. </p><p>When Niki arrives at the coordinates Technoblade had sent her weeks ago, she’s taken aback at the simplicity of the area. The small, conjoined cottages don’t appear as though the two deadliest men in the world reside in them. They appear… dare she say it… <em> cozy. </em></p><p>The simple homes, built of the simplest materials, remind her of something. An old idea that two naïve individuals held. Niki refuses to admit who the worn stone brick and spruce logs remind her of. It has been five months since they last spoke.</p><p>(It’s better this way, she reminds herself. Puffy is many things, and a coward is certainly not one of them– if she wanted to talk, to have anything to do with Niki… she would reach out. But she hasn’t.</p><p>Niki can feel the promise ring under her glove as she curls and uncurls her fingers to keep them from stiffening, but she pretends it isn’t there.) </p><p>With a few deep, visible breaths, Niki steps up to the little home and knocks on the door. A few moments pass, which almost make her believe that no one is home at the moment, but then she hears a few <em> thumps, </em> and the sound of heavy footsteps, until the one she’s looking for appears at the door: clad in a sleepshirt, a horrid case of bedhead, and a hastily thrown on red cape, is Technoblade. </p><p>“Niki! How nice it is to see you again,” The man says, voice still strung with sleep. “Can I help you with something?” </p><p>“Yes. I’ve thought it over, and I’ve… come to a decision.” There is an anxious edge to Niki’s words, one she’s grateful Technoblade completely ignores. </p><p>“I see. Come in and we’ll talk– it’s freezin’ out there,” Techno says while ushering in his guest, as if he hadn’t <em> chosen </em> to live in a place where temperatures stay below freezing all year long. “So… you say you’ve made a decision, huh?” </p><p>Niki is kindly offered a chair to sit on, which she accepts. “I’m interested. I’d like to join you.” </p><p>“Well, you know I’d have to discuss it with Phil…” Techno widely gestures his hands as he crosses his kitchen, then picks up a glass of water. Just before sipping it, he finishes, “…But I’m sure he’ll be easy to convince.” </p><p>Niki gazes at the man across the room from her with nothing short of admiration. After so long, she has finally found another place where she <em> belongs. </em></p><p>(The Syndicate will never replace the memories of the war. Nothing will replace the melodies that floated in the air of their bonfires, or the late-night talks about the future they had been fighting so hard for, or the crying sessions about that same future that they vowed to forget but <em> never truly did– </em>they will always reside at the bottom of Niki’s heart, sometimes farther and harder to reach, but never gone.</p><p>The Syndicate will never hold the same place in Niki’s heart; she reminds herself of that fact consistently, even as she grieves the old friendships she once had. But the Syndicate is something new, and times have changed. Dwelling on the past is useless.) </p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Niki has heard of this place before, in legends– she’s been a girl before, huddled around her mother and <em> listened </em> to all the stories, like they’d cease to exist if she dared to forget them. </p><p>This place exists in many different myths, for many different reasons.</p><p>Some believe it was an ancient battle ground; the final resting place of two long gone, powerful races, that had grown too confident, too <em> bold, </em>and the ones above deemed them unworthy of existence. Some believe it used to be a portal, a place mortals would travel through the universe, until they got too greedy and the ones above brought them to justice, closing it forever. That’s why magic is limited to only enchantments and potions– because the ones above decided that was all mortals could handle.</p><p>The part that never made sense to Niki was the constant presence of <em> the ones above. </em> In every story, they were there. </p><p>See, the role they played in each story varied, but their role in the universe always remained: divine beings of quite unspeakable power, only allowed to reveal their true nature to those considered worthy– or those who were about to die, but that part went without saying. Besides that, they spend their days walking amongst mortals as if they were one themselves. </p><p>(Maybe it’s because they wish to see the universe in its smallest scale; they wish to observe all those who cherish their time in a summer breeze, despite being all too vulnerable to death. Perhaps they wish to see the beauty in the universe so they know exactly what they’re fighting for.) </p><p>Years later, Niki is far past the point of disbelief in those fairytales. She didn’t think the portal existed, nor did ones above; and even if they did, she would never be in such a fucked situation that she would meet one. </p><p>She remembers the first time she’d actually <em> seen </em> Phil. His entrance reminded her of the stories– the way he had descended from the stars, soared through the sky and blocked the sun from view, silencing everyone with only his mere presence. She remembers the release of energy that came from the site of his son’s death, like palpable grief in the form of a gust of wind on your skin. </p><p>She remembers the words she had overheard the man mumble to his ally, whispers of <em> he was not like me, I was foolish to get attached, he was going to die as everyone else does.  </em></p><p>Niki did not care to attempt to make sense of those puzzle pieces in scattered, blurry moments. Yet here she is now, attending her very first Syndicate meeting at this fabled location, and they’re using this thing of legends as a <em> table. </em>At first she’s almost offended by it, but then it clicks– </p><p>Oh, how it clicks.</p><p>Questions pop into her mind upon the realization, but she swats them away. The awe she feels must be present on her face, given the look she receives from Phil. He knows much, <em> much </em> more than just the stories. </p><p>The Syndicate meeting begins, and they do not rush into very important matters. The promise ring on her ungloved hand catches her eye sometimes, and she ignores it every time. </p><p>Niki ponders which code name she should take on. Techno assures her that there’s no rush to commit to one, but she’s eager to regardless. It is a way to identify herself with those who do not push her to the side, and she will not delay it. </p><p>Eventually they <em> do </em>move on to important matters; there appears to be a new nation forming, and Ranboo informs the group that it’s been started by Tubbo. </p><p>“Then we’ll give him a visit,” Techno had declared with a nonchalant shrug, despite a glaring lack of discussion or more information. “We need to make sure that tyrant doesn’t step out of line.” </p><p>“Tyrant?” Ranboo questioned. “It’s only Tubbo.” </p><p>“Would you classify him as anythin’ else?” </p><p>The glare Techno shot at him was dangerous, and Ranboo decides it is definitely best to avoid his bad side. “I… guess not.” </p><p>(Silently, Niki agrees with Ranboo. Tubbo is a lot of things– an former spy, president, revolutionary, an old friend of hers– but he is not a tyrant.) </p><p>The subject of conversation moves on like usual. It is agreed that they will visit Snowchester as the first outing as a <em> syndicate, </em>but there is one more thing to be done beforehand. Techno strolls over to the edge of the meeting room, and with a creak of a chest he pulls out two matching blue capes. </p><p>With something akin to a proud smile, he hands one to Niki. She looks at the man with shining eyes, a silent yet deafeningly loud thanks. </p><p>As Niki holds her new cape, she cannot help but notice how similar in color it is to the old revolutionary uniform she’d worn so long ago. As she clasps it around her neck, adjusts it a little so it <em> fits </em>on her shoulders, she cannot help but think of the camaraderie she feels now, one she has not felt since she last donned this shade of blue.</p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>The trip to Snowchester is by no means short, but Niki does not mind. There is a sense of pride she feels at the sight of four sets of footprints in the snow, the sight of the matching capes. </p><p>Ranboo walks a distance ahead of the others, and when asked about his frantic pace (“We’re in no rush, mate,” Phil had said) he simply blames his long legs for their long strides.</p><p>That’s the end if it; nobody thinks to question it when Ranboo is first to go through the tunnel to Snowchester, and nobody questions it when he disappears behind a corner, claiming to have gotten distracted. </p><p>Niki stands back when Techno confronts Tubbo. His voice is low and steady, patiently waiting for the ex-president to say something incriminating. In the corner of her eye, she sees Ranboo sneak off into a house, avoiding  bumping his head on the doorway in a fashion that tells her he’s familiar with it. </p><p>He reappears a minute or two later, breathing noticeably easier. Techno does not notice the way Tubbo and Ranboo lock eyes and hold that eye contact. Instead, he only snatches the offer to see the hole Tubbo’s nukes made. </p><p>“I think I’ll stay behind,” Niki says. There’s something going on in this little settlement, and she’s going to get to the bottom of it. “I’ve already seen the nukes. Mind if I search around the place while you show them?” </p><p>“That isn’t necessary,” Tubbo answered. </p><p>“I’m sure it isn’t, but…” Niki pointedly glared at the red and black of Tubbo’s shield, a simple symbol of a dictator long dead and his era long past. “I’m sure you have nothing to hide, right?” </p><p>Tubbo shot Ranboo a troubled look and received a reassuring nod in return– though this one was painfully obvious, and Techno undoubtedly noticed, but he didn’t say anything about it. He only gave Niki a smile, and she couldn’t help but be the littlest bit thrilled that he was pleased with her. </p><p>Niki began her search when their idle chatter escaped earshot. </p><p>The first order of business was the home. The opening of the front door was signaled by a loud creak; good. That would work in Niki’s favor, make her aware of anyone else entering.</p><p>The ground floor was very… empty. It lacked any decoration, as if it were just finished. Against the wall was a trapdoor, which led to a storage basement that Niki only popped into (because there were no valuable items in there that Techno didn’t probably have). But other than that… nothing.</p><p>So why did Ranboo choose this house, and <em> only </em>this house, to step into? </p><p>The answer to her question came in the form of a <em> thump </em>from upstairs. </p><p>At first, Niki was inclined to believe that she simply misheard something– there were no ladders, no stairs, no way to reach the second floor. But then there was another <em> thump</em>, and… a squeal? And yet another <em>thump,</em> and <em> that </em> was enough to dispel any doubt Niki held onto that she was alone in this house.</p><p>The search for ladders was brief, with a few lying around in the chests downstairs. She places them on the wall and hopes to the ones above that removing a plank or two from the ceiling would not threaten the structural integrity of this building (Tubbo seemed unhappy as is, and destroying his property certainly wouldn’t cheer him up). </p><p>Now, okay– Niki didn’t know what to expect when she reached the second floor. The erratic nature of the thumps told her that it was something living, but she wasn’t expecting… a zombie piglin. Much less a <em> baby </em>zombie piglin. In a yellow sweater and blue overalls. </p><p>The little thing cowered against the opposite wall upon the sight of a stranger. It squeaked and squealed frantically– like it was calling for someone. </p><p>“You’re okay. I’m not going to hurt you,” Niki cooed, slowly stepping towards it, “How are you here? Isn’t it a bit cold?” Silence. More civility than deserved. “Do you… have a name?” </p><p>It would be a lie if she claimed to have not been startled when the thing ran towards her; instinctively she flinched and stepped to the side, only to find that it wasn’t running towards <em> her.  </em></p><p>When Niki turned her head to see where it ran, she was met with an axe to her throat, shimmering with enchantments. </p><p>“What are you doing in here?” Ranboo’s voice was low, <em> angry, </em>as he held the baby piglin in his arms. </p><p>Niki was at a loss for words. What was she supposed to say? That she saw Ranboo being suspicious? That she caught the worried glances he and Tubbo exchanged? </p><p>“I <em> said, </em>what are you doing in here?” Ranboo repeated, his words laced with a certain venom that Niki has never heard before. “What do you want with Michael?” </p><p>“Is that its name? Michael?” Gently, Niki attempted to lower the axe at her neck, but it didn’t really budge. Ranboo did not move, but the way the baby perked up at the name was answer enough. “Why do you have a baby piglin, Ranboo?” </p><p>“You’re not answering my question. What is your business here?” Niki noted how uncharacteristically stubborn he was being. </p><p>“I was curious. I saw the way you were acting around the Syndicate, and I definitely saw you scramble into this house. If there’s something going on here, I just want to get to the bottom of it.” </p><p>Ranboo must have known the truth in that statement (it <em> was </em>true, after all; Niki would never lie straight to his face) because he… relaxed at that answer. He lowered his axe, yet still held it firm in his hand. “You’re not violent like Technoblade. I trust you to not lash out if you know the truth.”</p><p>Niki knows what he means, it’s a <em> compliment </em>that he trusts her, yet she can’t help but think about how she’d attempted to kill a child barely even a month ago. It’s ironic in a horrible way. </p><p>“I don’t want to lie to you, but you’re not going to like what you’re going to hear,” Ranboo continued, <em> finally </em> putting his axe away. “You need to promise me you won’t tell the Syndicate.” </p><p>Niki furrows her brows. “It depends.” </p><p>“Fair. At least promise me you’ll let me do all the talking if Techno or Phil ever asks.” A nod. “Okay. This is going to sound really bad when you first hear it, so you’ll need to let me expl–”</p><p>“Get on with it, please.”</p><p>“Yeah. To put it simply, uh,” Ranboo laughed nervously, “This is my son. Michael. I adopted him with Tubbo. Who is my husband. For tax purposes! Originally, at least. Turns out Eret’s taxes don’t apply to either of us, but we’re staying together for Michael.” </p><p>Michael once again perked up at his name. Niki only stood there, taking a very long minute (or five, who knows) to process everything she’d just heard. Because… yeah. Sure. Okay. Ranboo eventually only looked to his son, beginning to quietly play with him. </p><p>“Techno has no knowledge of any of that?” </p><p>“None. I imagine he’d consider me a traitor for marrying the guy he hates most.” </p><p>Niki shrugged. “You’re withholding very important information from him. Technically, you <em> are </em>a traitor.” </p><p>“I know that. Techno will probably hate me and kick me out of the Syndicate, maybe even try to kill me, but that’s a price I’m willing to pay if it means Michael stays safe.” Ranboo effortlessly shifted Michael from one arm to the other. It was a practiced movement; one that he’d clearly mastered. “I don’t care what Techno thinks of me as long as Michael is safe. He’s done nothing to deserve Techno’s wrath.” </p><p>Ranboo loves his son– that much is clear, even if you push aside the way he smiles at him, the way he quietly blows raspberries to him when he gets a little bored, the way he sets him down gently and allows the toddler to wrap himself around his father’s unusually long legs.</p><p>And, well, Techno is known for violence– any wariness or caution held against him is undeniably justified. </p><p>There were a few thoughts insisting that she stay loyal to Techno. But… how could she? Michael is innocent, and Niki will not put an <em> innocent </em>child in danger. “Fine. But if Techno ever finds out, you’re on your own, got it?”</p><p>Ranboo eagerly nodded. “Perfect. I don’t want you getting dragged into this. I’m sorry you found out this way, anyway.” </p><p>“That’s alright.” Niki kneeled down to the floor and studied the little piglin. It still looked (reasonably) scared of her. “I’d hate to see something happen to him.” </p><p>“Yeah…” Ranboo cleared his throat. “It’s the entire reason why I joined the Syndicate in the first place. So I could protect Michael properly.” </p><p>“So you’re not an anarchist?” </p><p>“What? No! Niki, I was a member of L’Manberg’s cabinet. I’ve never been anti-government.” </p><p>A very decent portion of Niki’s brain is mad at him for that; if he wasn’t already a traitor before, he <em> certainly </em>is now, having joined the Syndicate knowing full well he didn’t actually subscribe to their beliefs. </p><p>And yet… she isn’t surprised. Snowchester doesn’t appear to be a government, just a small settlement across the sea. And, yeah, he <em> did </em>marry Tubbo, who might not be a dictator but certainly isn’t very close to anarchy. </p><p>A sizable amount of Niki’s thoughts tell her to start an argument with the confessed traitor. But she can tell from looking at the blue of Michael’s overalls that his father’s motives are not selfish– no, they’re quite the opposite. </p><p>Ranboo might be a traitor to the Syndicate, but it’s undeniable that he has a good reason. </p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>It takes barely three weeks for Ranboo to be caught. </p><p>It starts when Niki visits for the fourth Syndicate meeting and she is met with a frantic Ranboo asking about a letter he had apparently misplaced, panic in his voice only <em> very </em> thinly veiled. Niki had responded truthfully that she hadn’t seen it, but she’d keep an eye out for it. </p><p>Silently, she hoped she found it before anyone else did. It seemed Ranboo had been hoping for the same.</p><p>(Unfortunately, we don’t all get what we want.) </p><p>“Ranboo,” Techno had started, because their code names weren't necessary when they were only in the company of one another, “Have you lost a letter recently?” </p><p>Niki could practically see Ranboo’s heart drop. With the <em> slightest </em>tremble in his voice, he answered. “I have, actually. You found it?” </p><p>Techno nodded, pulling out the letter from under his cape and holding the envelope between two fingers. “I have a question, though. Why are you receivin’ letters from Tubbo?”</p><p>Silence filled the air, awfully constricting. Under the table, Niki fiddled with her fingers as she waited to see which approach Ranboo would take in this conversation. </p><p>“I… didn’t know it was from Tubbo.”</p><p>Wrong answer.</p><p>“Do you take me for a fool, Ranboo?” The only sound to be heard was the soft rustle of the envelope being opened. “Or should I say, <em> my beloved?”  </em></p><p>“Give me back the letter, Techno. Please.” </p><p>“I don’t think I will. Let’s see!” Techno shoots Ranboo a look before shifting his gaze to the sheet of paper. <em> “Dear Ranboo, my beloved, I hope this letter finds you well. I know how important your syndicate meetings are to you, but you need to come home more often.”  </em></p><p>“Technoblade–”</p><p>
  <em> “Michael misses you a lot. I try and comfort him as much as I can, but you’ve always been better at it than I am. He outgrew his favorite pair of overalls and cried. AND HE ALMOST SAID HIS FIRST WORD!!!! I’d fucking kill you if you missed your own son’s first words so come home soon!! Your beloved, Tubbo.”  </em>
</p><p>Techno uttered those last few words with disgust. Then he looked Ranboo in his tearful, heterochromatic eyes, and ripped up the sheet of paper. With a sniffle Ranboo brought a hand to wipe his eyes, followed by a small wince. </p><p>“It’s very heartwarmin’ that you have a son, Ranboo. Just not with the government.”</p><p>“The <em>government?</em> It’s just Tubbo!” Ranboo snapped back, his words carrying a newfound sense of anger. (The same type of anger he’d held when he first caught Niki with Michael– perhaps it was more than just anger.) </p><p><em> “Just </em> Tubbo?” There was a loud <em> thud </em> as Techno slammed his hands on the table. “He represents every single thing we fight against! And you went and had a <em> child </em>with him!” </p><p>“It’s more complicated than that! Maybe if you considered<em> people </em>instead of ideas, you’d know that!” Another wince from Ranboo as another tear hit his skin. </p><p>“No, I think it’s quite simple. You betrayed me and the entire Syndicate when you chose the government over peace– clearly, you don’t know me at all if you expect me to step back and watch as you further the oppression of government.” </p><p>“Everything I’ve done has been for the safety of my son. Maybe you’d see that if you weren’t so caught up in your righteous quest against governments that don’t exist!” </p><p>Techno breathed a very agitated breath. “I’m sure your kid is lovely, Ranboo. But you’re a traitor, and a lesson needs to be taught.” </p><p>“Mm-hm, because <em>everyone</em> learned <em>so much</em> when you destroyed everything five months ago.” Ranboo’s gaze fell to the floor like he was done talking. But he wasn’t. “You know, Techno, maybe you’d understand why I chose people over ideals if you <em> had </em>people to choose.” </p><p>“I trusted you, Ranboo. I did. But clearly your beloved dictator means more to you than peace, and you know I can’t have that– maybe I ought to pay him a <em> visit.” </em>A menacing smile spread across the pig man’s face; everyone in the room knew what it meant. </p><p>Ranboo <em> absolutely </em>did– without another word, he disappeared, leaving only purple particles in the place where he’d just stood.</p><p>“I can’t believe this,” Techno sighed. “Am I a fool for thinking he was different, Phil?” </p><p>“No,” Phil calmly replied. “He’s good at hiding things, putting on a show. Even if his judgment is clouded.” </p><p>(Silently, Niki disagreed.) </p><p>“Every time I put barely an <em> ounce </em>of trust in someone, they betray me. I guess I’ll have to show him the consequences. You coming?” </p><p>For the first time this meeting, Techno shifted his gaze to Niki. “Uh, sure.” </p><p>Saying nothing else, only angrily grunting, Techno set off for Snowchester. </p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>The Syndicate’s second trip to Snowchester was much different than the first.</p><p>For starters, Niki is fearful. A knot has settled in her stomach, one that twists with each thought she gives to the situation. </p><p>She fears for Michael, for Ranboo– she even fears for Tubbo. She has known Tubbo a long time, she knows his history with Techno, and a part of her curses herself for pushing it so far to the side when she considered the offer to join the Syndicate. </p><p>Then again, that was when she believed it was over. And it <em> was </em> over– Doomsday <em> was </em> the end, until a few hours ago. </p><p>Snowchester looks nicer, now that Niki is aware there’s a family making a home here. In the distance, she can spot the construction of what appears to be a very large building, even if it’s still just the framework. She’ll ask Ranboo about it, she decides. </p><p>Tubbo is nowhere to be found in Snowchester, as is Michael. Ranboo must have taken them and ran far away; the best decision, considering they each have one life. </p><p>But Ranboo has three, and when Niki combines that with his absence, she understands why Techno laughs dryly upon realizing his absence. “The coward couldn’t even show up. I’m not surprised.” </p><p>There is a soft <em> crunch crunch </em>of snow from behind a building. With a vengeance, Techno mumbles “there you are,” and storms over to the sound. </p><p>But when he raises his sword and brings it down, the yell that follows is <em> definitely </em> not Ranboo’s– it’s one that Niki knows far too fucking well. </p><p>“Woah, hey!” A <em> clang </em>sounds out as the voice shouts. “Chill out, chill out!”</p><p>Niki’s eyes go wide with recognition, and she wants to run. Clearly, though, her legs have a different idea and do not cooperate.</p><p>Technoblade is more thrown off mentally than physically, but he is still pushed back a bit after receiving a much stronger block than expected. After all, he’d been expecting Ranboo’s lanky enderman limbs, not the sturdiness of a ram. </p><p>It’s a real shame that Niki hasn’t ran miles away when Puffy finally appears from around the corner– she loathes the way she needs a moment to take it in once more, because it’s not second nature anymore. She’s taken aback by how much Puffy has changed in just five months, and she really fucking hates it. </p><p>“Niki? Is that actually you?” Puffy’s hair is still… well, <em> puffy, </em> and she still wears the same red pirate jacket, and her horns haven’t really grown, and her voice is the same– but she’s different. <em> Something </em> is different. “I haven’t seen you in a while.” </p><p>“Yeah, it’s been- it’s me. And it’s you, too.” Niki would be a fucking <em> liar </em> if she said she didn’t want to engulf Puffy in a hug, bury her face in the crook of the taller woman’s neck and be <em> not so separate </em> anymore. But the weight of five months weighs on her shoulders, and she can only find the nerve to take a few uncertain, shaky steps in the snow. “It’s been… too long.” </p><p>(Off to the side Techno mutters a question about walking in on something, to which Phil only nods and insists to give the two some space, which Techno obeys with a grunt, one frustrated about the lack of violence against traitors taking place.) </p><p>“I agree. Uh… there’s a little community center here, if you want to talk. Or something.” Puffy vaguely gestured in a direction. </p><p>When did Puffy become so hard to talk to? Niki despises herself for not knowing the answer. </p><p>“Yeah, I would like that.” The least Niki could do right now is be truthful. She gets a nod in response, and allows herself to be led over to the so-called community center.</p><p>“So, how have you been? What have you been up to lately?” It’s small talk as the two sit at a table in the warm little building, and Niki truly <em> cannot </em>stress enough how much she detests this rift that has grown between them. </p><p>“Well, you know,” Puffy rolls her eyes dismissively, “I’ve been fighting against an egg cult most of the time, but I decided to take a break here. Along with some other stuff.” </p><p>Niki nodded. “I joined an anarchist syndicate.”</p><p>She knows the first rule of the Syndicate is secrecy. Niki is completely aware of that, but unfortunately she doesn’t care a whole lot when the words escape her lips too quickly to stop. </p><p>“Huh. Explains the matching capes. But... Technoblade? And Philza? They blew up L’Manberg.” There’s a specific look on Puffy’s face; shocked, but not with a judgmental undertone like expected, just pure confusion. </p><p>“Well– yeah. They did. But L’Manberg was a lost cause, and it’s over now.” Niki pulls off her gloves, finally revealing the promise ring to someone who knows the value it holds. With that, the conversation wordlessly switches subjects.</p><p>(Niki doesn’t want to think about how often the ring reminds her of what she has with the woman sitting across from her. It’s a reminder of the relationship that’s <em> over, </em>but she doesn’t want to let it go.) </p><p>Of course the jewel catches Puffy’s eye, and her face falls into something more like shock. “Are you sure?” </p><p>Niki brings one finger to another like she’s going to wiggle off the ring, but she doesn’t. “I don’t know, is it?”</p><p>“I’m not sure. I never lived in L’Manberg.” Just like that, the moment fades. “But I’m confused. How could you side with Technoblade and Philza after what they did?” </p><p>“By recognizing that it’s in the past.” </p><p>“Doomsday is the entire reason we lost contact in the first place.” </p><p>Privately Niki recalls the days just after Doomsday, spent in a panicked blur, coming to the conclusion that a sixteen-year-old was the root of everyone’s problems. Lies, she had said, all he does is <em>lie. </em></p><p>Privately Niki compares that to the gracious woman in front of her, who had the kindness in her heart to actually do the right thing and <em> help </em>that same kid. “No, it was something else.” </p><p>“What do you mean?” In a moment’s notice there are warm hands holding Niki’s. </p><p>“It’s nothing. It’s… something I’m trying to move on from.” It takes every ounce of effort she has to not pull her hands away, because the touch feels undeserved but she’d die before letting it be so obvious. “It’s in the past. What are you doing here in Snowchester?” </p><p>“Oh! I’m here for Michael,” Puffy smiles, like it’s something that’s obvious. “I’ll be staying here for a few weeks since Tubbo has been having such a hard time recently with everything that’s happened to him. But I don’t really mind– anything to get away from that damn egg, you know?” </p><p>Niki tilted her head. “What do you mean? Is Tubbo okay?” </p><p>“You mean you… haven’t heard? I’d hate to be the one to tell you.” Puffy received only a very confused look, eye contact that she suddenly couldn’t hold. “Uh, Tommy… died. He’s dead.” </p><p>“He– what?” Niki shouldn’t be surprised. She shouldn’t. Tommy isn’t immortal, he dies like everyone else– hell,<em> she tried to kill him– </em>and yet that doesn’t sound right.</p><p>“Tommy got locked with Dream in prison because of a security breach during his visit. Then Dream just– you know,” Puffy made a slash gesture across her neck. “Sam let us all know the other day. I’ve been told Tubbo has been taking it especially hard, which is no surprise.” </p><p>“Yeah.” It’s an idle word, a response let out for the sake of filling the silence. </p><p>Puffy understands this, and continues. “Ranboo said he gets nice letters, but he also says they’re just a front. He says Tubbo isn’t in the best place to properly take care of Michael right now, so he called me in to help out temporarily. So I’m staying for a bit.” </p><p>And then there’s silence, but Niki’s thoughts are very loud. Tommy doesn’t just <em> die. </em> She knows that better than anyone, probably– he’s too bright to slowly fizzle out; he has to perish grandly, like the supernova he’s always been. </p><p>But he didn’t. </p><p>He died in agony, alone and miles away from his friends, terrified and bloody and <em> slowly, </em>probably. It’s so much worse than any way Niki ever planned for him to die, and it's irreversible. He will stay dead forever and all anyone can do is react and promise to never let it happen once more.</p><p>(He’ll stay dead <em> forever– </em> nobody will ever see that same light again. He’ll stay dead forever just like W– nobody. Everybody. Everyone who’s ever died. </p><p>Forever. How could Niki ever want that?) </p><p>“What are you thinking about, Niki?” </p><p>Puffy’s voice is gentle, calming, grounding. Hearing it now, it no longer feels so different, but it also <em>does, </em>and it’s strange to recognize this change as something good. It’s a bit foreign, but it is welcome.</p><p>It isn’t really a decision she makes herself, moreso just something she steps to the side and watches play out, when Niki confesses, “I tried to kill Tommy.” </p><p>“You what?” Puffy is definitely giving her a shocked look, maybe even an angry one, but she can’t see it with her head in her hands. </p><p>“When Tubbo tested his nukes, Jack and I– it was my job to lead Tommy to the site, make it look like an accident on Tubbo’s part,” Well, shit, now she’s crying, and saying every perfect thing to make Puffy hate her (might as well take off the promise ring now while it’s still worth anything at all), but it’s just spilling out. “I don’t know what I was thinking, letting my feelings over that kid split us up. I’m sorry.” </p><p>“Niki, hey. Hey. Calm down,” There are a pair of hands on Niki’s wrists, attempting to pull her hands away and make some eye contact, but she refuses, so the hands patiently retract and then wait. Thank <em> fuck </em>nobody else is in the room because that would be embarrassing. A few moments pass, and everything is still for a second before Puffy breaks it up. “I hope you know I’m not mad. If that’s what you’re thinking.”</p><p>“Why aren’t you mad? You love Tommy.” </p><p>“Because you told me just a few minutes ago that it’s in the past. It’s something you obviously feel guilty about. You’re trying to move on from it, and– hey. Look at me. You didn’t succeed. You’re not to blame.” The words are easygoing but direct. They’re not accusatory, and that makes Niki feel grateful in a way she’s certain she doesn’t deserve. “Want to go outside?” </p><p>There’s a nod, and then the awkward shuffle of chairs, and the tap of shoes in the stained wooden floor, and the little jingle of a bell on the door, and the <em> crunch crunch crunch crunch </em>of footsteps in snow. The sky is flawlessly blue and birds sing in the distance.</p><p>“I missed you a lot.” Niki isn’t sure why she says that. Maybe she’s just on a confession streak right now. </p><p>“I missed you too.” Puffy is silent for a moment, searching for words. “I’m sorry I never contacted you. I should’ve been there.” </p><p>“It’s okay. I’m starting to heal now.”</p><p>“And I should’ve been there to help you with it five months ago.” The taller woman grabs Niki’s hand, the one with the promise ring on it. </p><p>“You’re here now. And I’m grateful things can be how they used to be.”</p><p>It’s stupidly optimistic, maybe even a <em> lie, </em>to say that things can be remotely similar to how they used to be. They both know that all too well– it’s just a matter of who’s willing to admit it first. </p><p>Puffy is many things, and a coward is not one of them. So she asks the question they’re both thinking. “But is it good for you right now?” </p><p>Wordlessly, Niki takes off her glove. She stares at the promise ring like she’d die if she dared to avert her gaze. </p><p>Then her hand moves to take the ring off, but another one– calloused and rough but also <em> warm– </em>stops it. She isn’t looking when she hears the words that accompany the motion. “Keep it. I gave it to you, and I meant it.” </p><p>It’s then when the surprised eye contact arrives. “I’m not who I was back then. The person you gave this to is not who I turned out to be.” </p><p>“And that’s okay. You’re not beyond saving.” </p><p>(Oh, how badly Niki needed to hear that.)</p><p>Niki does what she’s wanted so badly to do for months and pulls Puffy close. She mumbles some thanks into Puffy’s hair, and she doesn’t really care if they go unnoticed. They don’t, of course, but the quietness that follows the little reassurances is enough to distract Niki from her thoughts and focus on being <em>held.</em> It’s wonderful, this feeling, and she will bask in it forever. </p><p>When they finally pull away from their long-awaited embrace, Puffy gently says that she has something to tend to inside her temporary home. She asks Niki if she wants to come along, and the offer is graciously accepted. </p><p>Niki looks up at the brilliant blue of the sky and treks through the snow, the <em>crunch crunch crunch </em>now serving as a reminder that she is not alone anymore.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>canon said no niki and michael interactions. and also no puffychu closure. so i said NO here it is you bitches. hope you enjoyed!!</p><p>follow me on tumblr @coveredinsun because im cool and sexy and awesome :]</p></blockquote></div></div>
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